Parents often advise their teens about school problems, but kids may only sometimes listen. However, a new study from the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign shows that even if kids were unresponsive, they still benefit from their parents’ advice.
The study, conducted by researchers at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, involved observing and analyzing conversations between fifth-graders and their mothers. The focus was on school-related issues, the advice given by mothers, and how the children responded. These observations were then correlated with the children’s academic transition to middle school, a period known for its unique challenges.
Researchers focused on issues like understanding schoolwork, boredom, and time management, as academic pressure increases at this age.
The study included 100 racially diverse youths and their mothers. Each pair discussed a recent academic problem for five minutes. The children and their teachers completed surveys on coping and school engagement. The surveys were repeated after the children started middle school the following year.
Researchers found that mothers encouraged their children to tackle academic challenges actively. The three main types of advice were:
- Cognitive reappraisal: Reframing the problem and seeing it as a learning opportunity.
- Strategizing: Finding solutions.
- Help-seeking: Seeking assistance from teachers, parents, or older siblings.
Parents didn’t tell their kids to ignore the problem. They wanted them to address it, especially during the transition to middle school. Children’s responses varied from accepting to dismissing the advice, with many responding ambiguously, saying things like “maybe” or “I don’t know.” This might show they need more time to think or reflect on their reluctance to involve their mothers in their problems.
Researchers found that kids whose mothers gave cognitive reappraisal advice coped better, while those who received strategizing or help-seeking advice did not show the same improvement. This underscores the crucial role of mothers in shaping their children’s coping strategies, particularly during the challenging transition to middle school.
Interestingly, even when kids rejected or were unsure about their mom’s cognitive reappraisal advice, they still managed to cope better in middle school than those who accepted it. This resilience in the face of academic challenges is a testament to their growing independence and ability to navigate their own paths.
According to Kelly Tu, an Associate professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Studies, part of Illinois’s College of Agricultural, Consumer, and Environmental Sciences (ACES), kids are maturing and want to make their own decisions. They might resist advice at first, but they remember it and use it later. They may find these strategies helpful when new challenges arise in middle school.
Kids who accepted their mom’s advice to seek help reported worse coping in middle school than those who rejected it.
Kelly Tu said, “The advice ‘Ask your teacher for help’ is simple, but it may be more useful for complex problems. Kids might rely too much on others and need to develop their skills. Some kids might agree with their mom to end the conversation without considering the advice.”
Tu emphasized the need to give kids various suggestions for different situations. Even if kids don’t seem receptive initially, some advice still helps in the long run.
The study focused on mothers because they often spend more time with kids. Future studies should also look at fathers’ roles or see which parent kids usually go to for advice.
Journal reference:
- Kelly M. Tu, Xiaomei Li, et al. Academic challenges during early adolescence: Mothers’ advice and youth responses to advice. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology. DOI: 10.1016/j.appdev.2024.101648.